How to Maintain a Positive Mindset
I will be exploring the methods than both I and anyone else can use to maintain a positive mindset. There are certainly some things that I could do better to help maintain my more positivity and I will mention those which I plan to be implementing in the near future.
So once again, let’s make this very clear from the outset. Although when I talk to people, they always seem to think that I have a very positive outset on life, don’t let that fool you, I have some very dark times too. Those close to me will know the internal struggles I have currently and have had leading up to this point. However, I suppose that’s the point of this blog post, no matter who you are, no matter how perfect your life may seem to others, everyone deals with dark times at some point. I feel it’s only right to mention that from the get-go. I didn’t want this to seem like I’m preaching how good I am at maintaining a positive mindset. I think to do so, it’s a process of constant hard work of looking at yourself and training yourself, as you would with any other skill (physical and mental skills), to do a little bit better than you did before.
1. Nobody Is Perfect
I think that brings me nicely onto point number one nicely. Nobody is perfect. This point in my mind is one of the most difficult things to maintain in your mind in the modern world. Unfortunately, a lot of that comes down to social media. It’s easy when things start to get on top of you, to turn to social media and see a highlight reel of other people’s lives and think to yourself ‘they have it so easy’. I do, however, think that this is something I have gotten good at reminding myself, reminding myself that you can’t compare yourself to what you see on social media. It’s unrealistic.
Of late, I’ve even started to turn that energy from being a reminder that no one’s life is as perfect as it seems from the outside, to being genuinely happy for the moments of joy they do share. Something I wish everyone could instill in themselves is to pick others up around them, as you yourself know what it is like to be rock bottom. No matter how low you feel, feel joy that someone has managed to find that moment of happiness because, believe me, they have moments of lows too. But if we elevated each other at their moments of joy, it makes the thoughts of lows start to move to the background.
2. Do Something For You
To be fair, this is something I am quite often able to do. Thanks to the fact that Sharn takes amazing care of the little one and will take her out after school, this gives me, at least once a week, the ability to really do something, and focus on myself. Quite often that will result in me indulging in one of my favourite past times of gaming. It’s a time that I can escape, forget about reality and purely zone into what I am doing in the games I play.
It doesnt matter how much you do for yourself or even what it is. As long as it is a moment that you can zone out and be truly you. Not be the person who is stressing about the million things there is to do or the phonecalls you need to make the next day to chase the 6 different doctors departments. Just do something fun!
3. Having Something To Look Forwards To
Focus on the long term not the short term, most of the negative things in life tend to be short lived. Therefore if you focus on the long term, then you will be focusing on the long term goals. This works even better if you put in place a series of things to look forward to. Of corse its great to be able have a nice big holiday booked, but its not exactly always appropriate. I’m fortunate enough to have a list of things to look forward to at the moment. With my wedding coming up in April, a mini moon just after, Peter Kay tickests and a cold play concert. However with many of those being months away, I also look forward to the smaller things. I look forward to the monthly trip to the snooker hall, the weekends watching the NFL and soon to be the Formula 1. Of corse other things crop up in between like family days out and date nights with Sharn.
4. Making Your Corner of the world a better place.
This is something that I have heard a few times more recently from a few different palces and I absolutely love it. If evey single person did their own bit and made the section of the world that they are in, a better place, then the positivity would spread across to everyone.
You can spread your happiness in so many ways. Give compliments to others, who doesn’t love a compliment! Being kind helps to spread happiness not only to those who you are kind to, but personally, it gives me great joy, knowing that I have made someone else feel so much better. Which moves me nicely on to my next point. Be happy for other people success. Dont fester on jealously of other people success, it will only make you feel more negative. Embrace other peoples success and you will feel much more positive yourself.
5. Start a journal & Positive affirmations
Now this isn’t one that I’ve done myself, but writing this blog has been a way of me doing this. I think by doing a journal you can do one of two things however. It gives you an outlet to be able to write down everything that is worrying you and whatever concerns you have. The second thing is that it makes you take a step back, look at everything you have done, and realise that the bad is probably a very small segment of your day. It makes you realise that the bad is also not as bad as you thought it was in the moment. By writing it down you almost look at it from a 3rd persons perspective.
By writing a positive affirmation of your day before, it makes you remember the good parts. Often you will find the negative points overshadow the good of the day and just by writing down the good points of the day you have had, it makes you focus on those rather than the negative. It doesn’t even need to be a massive leap. It can be something really simple, a simple task you managed to complete, a positive conversation you had with someone.
6. Follow you own advice
This sort of ties in with looking at the situation from a 3rd persons perspective. Its also something I’m having to bare in mind at the moment. I think in difficult situations you would often find that your decisions get blurred by the very fact that you are in that situation. If you knew someone else in the situation that you are in, you would probably know exactly what to say in the situation or at the very least have some wise words to make them feel better about it. You sometimes just need to take a step back and imagine that it is someone else going through the situation and think about how your conversation with them would go.
If you are going through a tough time at the moment, then I hope that this gives you some incentive to be able to look at a situation a little bit differently. If I could give one piece of advice it would be, nothing is ever as bad as it seems. I know its cliché, and I’ve tried to stay away from that this blog, however, its very true. Take a step back, assess, and think about how your going to move forward.
Be Kind.
Love,
Jonno.
