Accepting Change
Let me clear the air right from the start, for anyone really close to me, they will know I have a really tough time with this one. Accepting change can be daunting, depressing and downright difficult, but I hope through my own experiences, I’ll be able to show you that change can help to enhance your life. It can help you do things you didn’t think you’d be able to do anymore and in a lot of circumstances, actually give you more freedom.
So let’s start with some changes I’ve had to deal with, and how it’s had a positive impact on my life. The most recent adjustment to my own daily activities is using a walker to get to and from the car. Before this, I would use a stick in one hand and have a, stronger than she looks, wife to be in the other hand. I used to hold onto her arm, and she would be the only thing to stop me from falling. Now, to say this was unfair is an understatement. How I ever expected her back to be ok with someone, the wrong side of 11 stone, hanging off her is beyond me now. It took me staying over at the in-laws to finally admit defeat and use a walker which they had there through their own set of unfortunate circumstances. The thought of a walker had always been some hunched over pensioner, not someone pre 30’s, however I was almost immediately sold. It now means that I can walk, with a relative degree of confidence forwards and backwards to the car and as it turns out, all I had to do is swallow a little bit of pride.
'If you don't use it, you lose it'
It’s not the first time I’ve had to make a major adjustment like that, and it won’t be the last. I can tell you, sitting here, writing this today, that my next major change will be getting a stair lift, just not quite yet. I know, I know, this is meant to be all about accepting change, and here I am delaying the inevitable. I feel I have a somewhat good reason for this one though. You see, the stairs is about the only exercise I get other than to and from the car when doing the school run. I will be getting married in just a few more months and I am so determined to not be seated the whole wedding. I want to stand at the altar. I want to at the very least, be able to stand for the first ‘dance’. So until that wedding day, I’m going to continue using every bit of strength I have to get up and down those stairs. I think the famous phrase is “if you don’t use it, you lose it”.
I think my reluctance to have a stairlift has always been a mental block. A stairlift is something I associated with walking into my grandparents home. Like it would be somehow easier to accept as you got older, which I full well knew was not the case. My grandad, as loving as he could be, was a stubborn soul. I remember having a conversation with him before his passing, he was urging me back then to just accept a stairlift would be good for me and how he also struggled with the acceptance of change or help from others. So I guess in the end it doesn’t really matter, acceptance of change is difficult for everyone, so don’t fear it, speak about it, everyone has probably been through it at some point. If they haven’t yet, believe me, they will. I do however, fully accept that what I’m currently doing may not be the safest way and as soon as that wedding has been and gone, I feel in the perfect mindset to accept the fact that I will need a stair lift to safely get up and down.
'Change is inevitable. Growth is optional' - John C. Maxwell
When I say that making a change can actually enhance your life though I mean it. Currently, if I want to get something from upstairs, again I have to rely on the amazing fiancé Sharn of mine. If I want to take drinks up to bed. Again, ask Sharn. If I wanted to bring up breakfast in bed, I couldn't. However, once I get a stairlift, I can. I can happily sit there, with any number of items on my lap, and use the stair lift to cart them up the stairs. I’m already seeing the benefits that being in a wheelchair could bring (once the house is appropriate, but that’s a story for another day). If I made a transition to being in a wheelchair full time today, it would mean I could make and carry my own drink into the living room. It means I would be able to carry my own food from room to room. I would be able to move between rooms to collect things like washing, food cupboard items, toys for the little one. All of that without feeling the burning sensation through my legs, without the worry of falling to the floor, and then wondering how I’m going to get back up.
I know it’s very easy for someone to sit here and write how amazing it is to be able to accept change, and how we should all do it. I also know it’s not that simple, as I said, those close to me will know how difficult I have found it. They will know that every time I think about it, it feels like I’m losing a little part of myself. What I will say however, is that as soon as you do it, you think to yourself, what was all that worrying about. You realise that maybe you should have made the leap earlier and saved yourself some hassle.
So if you are worried about making a change, speak to someone (contact me if you need to). Really reach out to them, talk to them about what you're struggling with, and think about the benefits that it will bring to your life. Then comes the hard bit. Commit. Commit and give it a try, once you do l, you’ll realise it wasn’t so bad after all.
Be Kind.
Love,
Jonno.
